November 7, 2010

Gratitude For the Storms

How often do we ask God why?

We don't understand, the storm is overwhelming,

we feel the water rising, we are frightened...

When I am in those horrible moments where I am not sure I can keep going...

I think of Joseph~ how he was first tossed into a pit, then sold as a slave

works hard to move himself up only to be tossed in prison

he was betrayed by those he helped

He went through a lot before he finally got to realize the dream that God had placed on him

all those years before.

We know today that each of those things Joseph experienced was part

of God's plan. However unfair it might seem

that someone had to go through all that

it all came together perfectly to fulfill God's plan.

So today, I am giving gratitude for all those things that seemed horrible at the time

but served to get me where I am~

1. 1978~ moving to Lassen County~ how could I know then as I struggled with it all, that this would become HOME and that my life would be made full because we live here
2. That first committed relationship that fell apart before my very eyes. Even though I was trying to keep all the pieces together. Aside from my son coming from that, there were things I learned that I wouldn't use until much later in life and there were people who I met because of him that are still counted among my dearest friends!
3. The move to Southern California~ oh how I hated my exile to the desert! However I learned just how precious home really was and that it did not matter that others wanted out of home so bad~ it was my life and I was happy and content to just live in our little town and treasure it, not whine.
4. My terminal divorce (it was a joke because it took 9 years for it to be final) but it taking so long saved me some from very serious mistakes in life
5. My relationship with Ronnie~ 26 years of crazy~ who knew at my lowest moments in that relationship God was working miracles!
6. My Mom dying~ oh Lord how I did not know if I would actually survive losing her. Here I had a brand new baby, my life was a disaster and she went and died. God gave me what I needed to get through it and although it still hurts in my heart today to not have her here~ I am a different person a better person from that devastating part of my life!